Dear Ladies, Stop Pointing Out Your Flaws and Learn To Accept and Love Yourself

Dear Ladies, Stop Pointing Out Your Flaws and Learn To Accept and Love Yourself by Kendra Kantor

The other morning, I was driving home after dropping my son at daycare. The radio show I had on was in between songs and the hosts were talking and taking calls, I didn’t change it because I like the station and wanted to hear what was next. I can’t remember the exact station or the wording they used but the theme of the segment they were doing was:

Women are unhappy with their looks.

I listened for a few minutes as they took quick calls from women.

“My arm pits are fat.”

“I have back acne.”

“My back arms are flabby.”

“I have a gap in my teeth.”

That’s as long as I could listen before I had to turn it off. I felt…uncomfortable and sad for these women. I don’t know them so maybe they have great self esteem overall and just called to put in a word so they could say they were on a radio show. I don’t know what exactly the segment was about or where it came from, maybe there was a recent study or it was a random fact the hosts decided to talk about.

Whatever it was, I drove the rest of the way home in silence, contemplating how I felt about what I had heard.

I’ve written before about body acceptance, saying #yestobeautiful, I wrote about using selfies to improve your confidence, I have a whole Self Image category here, I’m doing a a project to improve my own self worth and self image called #100DaysofSelfWorthByKK. I honestly think about self esteem and self image all the time. Because I have people close to me who have very poor self image and talk about what they hate a lot. It makes me sad and worried for all of us. And for our children.

I’ll admit, I’m not perfect. There are things about my body that I’m less than pleased with but I don’t make a point to talk about them, I don’t point them out (except to my husband once and a while).

Praise yourself, talk about your best features, see yourself as beautiful and unique. [tweet this!]

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being aware of the parts of you that you don’t like. But you should either be trying to improve them or learning to accept and live with them and love them.

For the longest time I hated my stretch marks. But there’s not much I can actually do with them. I can use some lotion and fade them so they aren’t so noticeable but they will never ever go away. Instead, every time I look at them or feel shy wearing a tank top because of them, I remind myself how they got there. Gaining weight because I was on anti depressants (yay for getting healthy and being proactive), carrying and birthing a child (yay all around! bodies are amazing), being on fluids and then steroids for 6 months after being sick (yay for the strength to get well).

I focus on the positives, and guess what? I rarely look at them now with contempt or hate. I wear a swimsuit, I’ve been wearing shorts all summer and I often wear a tank top because hello Chicago summers!

My body is amazing. I love every inch of it even if there are parts I need to improve. [tweet this!]

I wish I could have reached out to the women on that radio show, given them a hug and said, “It’s okay to love yourself.” I couldn’t so I’m going to say it to you and hope it reaches some women, young girls and everyone and anyone who needs it.

It’s okay to love yourself.


Hey lovely, I’m trying an experiment and turning comments off on this post. I’d love for you to contribute to the conversation and share your thoughts about this topic my facebook or twitter. You can also share this post with your own followers and friends by using one of the “Share This Post” options below.

P.S. What I’ve Learned From Creating a Daily(ish) Art Habit and Freebie Alert! “You Are (More Than) Enough”

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